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HALLMARK REJECTS...........................

              So your daughter's a hooker,

              and it spoiled your day...

              Look at the bright side,

              she's a really good lay.

             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              My tire was thumping

              I thought it was flat...

              but when I looked at the tire

              I noticed your cat.

              Sorry.

             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

             You had your bladder removed,

              and you're on the mends...

              here's a bouquet of flowers,

              and a box of Depends.

             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

             You've announced that you're gay,

              won't that be a laugh,

              when they find out you're one of,

              the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              Happy Vasectomy!

              Hope you feel zippy!

              'Cause when I had mine

              I got real snippy.

             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              Heard your wife left you...

              How upset you must be...

              But don't fret about it...

              She moved in with me

             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              Your computer is dead...

              it was once so alive

              Now don't you regret...

              installing Windows 95?

             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              You totaled your car...

              and can't remember why...

              could it have been...

              that case of Bud Dry?

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