Top 25 Ways To Drive Your Roommate Crazy:
1. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my God! Where the hell am I ?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.
2. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.
3.Buy a Jack-in-the-Box. Everyday, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.
4. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell you roommate, "Okay, your turn."
5. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here somewhere."
6. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold you head, and moan.
7. Punch a hole in the TV Set and watch it anyway, complaining about the poor picture quality.
8. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
9. Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that you were hot. Open and close the window as you normally would.
10. Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
11. When your roommate comes in, pretend that you are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up, say, "That was your mom. She said she'd call back."
12. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then, look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot faster with two players."
13. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
14. Scatter stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."
15. Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster. Pray to the toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate's possessions out the window. Say the toaster made you do it.
16. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.
17. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain about the cost of new light bulbs.
18. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Take notes. Write a paper on it, and circulate it around campus. If your roommate protests, say, "The people have a right to know!"
19. Collect potato chips that you think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, "It had to be done."
20. Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 837-9494! Holy cow!)
21. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the watermelon out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.
22. As your roommate tries to fall asleep, watch him while sharpening a butcher knife.
23. Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you'd like to have a conversation.
24. Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them, "We'll continue this later," while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
25. Keep some worms in a shoebox. When doing homework, go and consult with the worms every so often. Then become angry, shouting at the worms that they're stupid and they don't know what they're talking about.
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